Bubbles

A few days ago a friend of mine sent me a message saying that his son wasn’t well, he had stomach pains all during the night, and the father was really concerned.

I immediately called my friend, asking him what the doctor said and how was his son.

The answer was : ” the doctor took care of him, but you as a  friend should ask me about myself, since I spent the whole night beside his bed instead of sleeping! ” .

Being a parent myself, and a psychologist, I found this reaction quite interesting.

When we give love to another being, a human or even a pet, is it a selfish feeling because this creature is fully gratifying for us making our life better, or we care so we are happy when the other one  is happy, and it’s more what we give than what we ask for?

In Italian there’s the expression “voler bene” which means loving and caring …  Is it : ” I want the good for you ” or ” I want you to make me feel good ” ?

Usually we assume parents are able to give unconditional love to their kids, and this seems part of a kind of human natural instinct,

to protect the helpless child, making him grow.

Here we are with a double perspective : the parent is giving support enjoying the child success as if it could be his or even more, the child needs to be selfish in order to create a strong personality structure. But the adult he’ll become might remember the parent’s free and open love, making him grow as a generous positive individual, able to give without forgetting his own right to protect a life quality, for himself and the others.

Unfortunately this special harmony in human nature isn’t so obvious as it seems.

The friend I mention here is not a exception at all : parents are building families to enjoy the social goal of a superficially successful structure and a good financial stability.  But at home they contemplate their Ego, forgetting questions and needs of people around them.

And the same is happening in Society.

So a young guy – not seen or heard by his parents – will venture outside looking for somebody able to say : I’m glad you exist !  If this doesn’t happen, feeling alive and making the self-esteem grow seem even and impossible mission.

This’s also the reason why many young people are confused, not knowing who they are and where to go.

Since many humans are now passing through life as vain

“Narcissus” constantly in front of a mirror, only when an individual is meeting another person, who is ready to open, to listen and accept, in full empathy, to share and to create a bridge, this might prevent Society from becoming the place of ” locked unhappy bubbles “, making it expand and grow as the result of millions of contacts, building the meaning itself of our own existence.A few days ago a friend of mine sent me a message saying that his son wasn’t well, he had stomach pains all during the night, and the father was really concerned.
I immediately called my friend, asking him what the doctor said and how was his son.
The answer was : ” the doctor took care of him, but you as a friend should ask me about myself, since I spent the whole night beside his bed instead of sleeping! ” .
Being a parent myself, and a psychologist, I found this reaction quite interesting.
When we give love to another being, a human or even a pet, is it a selfish feeling because this creature is fully gratifying for us making our life better, or we care so we are happy when the other one is happy, and it’s more what we give than what we ask for?
In Italian there’s the expression “voler bene” which means loving and caring … Is it : ” I want the good for you ” or ” I want you to make me feel good ” ?
Usually we assume parents are able to give unconditional love to their kids, and this seems part of a kind of human natural instinct,
to protect the helpless child, making him grow.
Here we are with a double perspective : the parent is giving support enjoying the child success as if it could be his or even more, the child needs to be selfish in order to create a strong personality structure. But the adult he’ll become might remember the parent’s free and open love, making him grow as a generous positive individual, able to give without forgetting his own right to protect a life quality, for himself and the others.
Unfortunately this special harmony in human nature isn’t so obvious as it seems.
The friend I mention here is not a exception at all : parents are building families to enjoy the social goal of a superficially successful structure and a good financial stability. But at home they contemplate their Ego, forgetting questions and needs of people around them.
And the same is happening in Society.
So a young guy – not seen or heard by his parents – will venture outside looking for somebody able to say : I’m glad you exist ! If this doesn’t happen, feeling alive and making the self-esteem grow seem even and impossible mission.
This’s also the reason why many young people are confused, not knowing who they are and where to go.
Since many humans are now passing through life as vain
“Narcissus” constantly in front of a mirror, only when an individual is meeting another person, who is ready to open, to listen and accept, in full empathy, to share and to create a bridge, this might prevent Society from becoming the place of ” locked unhappy bubbles “, making it expand and grow as the result of millions of contacts, building the meaning itself of our own existence.